Aquellos ojos verde oliva.

Aquellos ojos desamparados buscaban el auxilio en cualquiera que pudiera mirarle a los ojos y descubrir el sufrimiento por el que estaba pasando. Todos la miraban, pareciendo descubrir la verdad tras aquellos ojos verde oliva, pero en realidad eran solo las ganas de ser rescatada lo que potenciaba su imaginación y la hacía creer que aquellas personas podían ayudarla. En realidad ellos no la miraban de forma diferente a otras veces. Cómo era posible, se preguntaba, que nadie pudiese reconocer en aquella mirada el dolor que ella sentía. Aquellos ojos hablaban por sí solos, eran como un grito de socorro que en vez de proclamarse por la boca se reflejaban allí, en aquellos pequeños y almendrados ojos verde oliva. 

Buscaba entre los ojos de la gente, buscaba aquellos otros ojos que descubrieran su sufrimiento, buscaba aquella persona en la que pudiera refugiarse. Sus ojos gritaban auxilio pero nadie parecía escucharlos, todos embobados en sus respectivos que-haceres, no prestaban atención, no se daban cuenta de que había un alma maltratada que precisaba de su ayuda. Tan ensimismados en sus vidas que no podían mi alzar la vista y contemplar lo que se estaban perdiendo. 

Ella, tan desesperada, cosida la boca, palabras ahogadas en el miedo, su única arma, sus ojos, a los que nadie prestaba atención. Ni siquiera una sola lágrima que derramar, estaba perdida, sabía que jamás aquellos seres levantarían sus ojos y encontrarían aquellos destellos que reflejaban el dolor en sus ojos, e incluso aunque se detuviesen un segundo a mirarla tampoco descubrirían nada, absolutamente nada, permanecerían tres segundos observando aquellos ojos y en un parpadeo volverían a su ajetreada vida, porque el ser humano en sí es egoísta, y solo se preocupa de sus problemas, siempre pendiente de lo que concuerda con sus intereses, jamás pensando en los demás, y cuando lo hacen, ya es demasiado tarde.

Aquellos ojos verde oliva, un día, perdieron todo su color.

Porque tienen ojos y no ven, oídos y no escuchan, corazón y no sienten.

People

Supongo que la vida consiste en nacer, ir creciendo poco a poco, estudiar, estudiar, estudiar, conseguir un trabajo, ganar dinero, tener hijos, cuidar de ellos, pasarlas putas, tener una aceptable cantidad de dinero, ser muy viejo para disfrutarlo, morir. ¿Un poco deprimente, no? Lo bueno de la vida, diría yo, son esos pequeños momentos de diversión que los disfrutas como nada, y cuando no consigues dormirte piensas en ellos una y otra vez y sonríes, hasta te dan escalofríos al recordarlos. Momentos que no quieres olvidar nunca. En aquellos pequeños recuerdos, apareces tú, rodeado de alguien. una, o más personas. Esas personas hicieron que aquello fuera posible. Con el paso de los años, mucha de esa gente que forma parte de tu memoria se ha esfumado, pensarás que es algo bastante triste, como una persona que quieres ha pasado de mejor amigo a ser un desconocido, pero hey, recuerda, siempre es mejor estar solo que mal acompañado. ¿Por qué digo esto? Pues porque todos hemos tenido malos y buenos momentos, y aquellos que han estado en ambos, sin buscar nada a cambio son los que valen la pena. En los tiempos difíciles, ése que permanece a tu lado es el que demuestra su valía. 

"People change, memories don't." Pero, si una de esas personas que forman parte de un bello recuerdo ha cambiado, y cada vez que piensas en ellas un sentimiento contrario al amor corre por tus venas, ¿no ha cambiado también ese recuerdo de repente? Esa persona, ahora te hace dudar de si ese recuerdo guardado en tu memoria no era real, que quizás uno de tus mejores recuerdos es una farsa, y entonces te empiezas a cuestionar todos los demás. Y toda esa maravilla llamada memoria se llena de una nube negra, se te nubla el pensamiento y acabas por darte por vencido pensando que nada es real.

La gente te ilusionará y/o te decepcionará cuando menos te lo esperes. Mantén esos recuerdos vivos y cada vez que pienses en ellos no pierdas la sonrisa, porque quizás no todo es tan gris como parece, simplemente las cosas han cambiado, y quizás es hora de crear nuevos recuerdos. Algunas puertas se abren y otras se cierran, pero siempre hay esperanza al final del arcoiris.

AGAIN.

Even if your life has been awesome and you've done "everything" right, there is always this stupid thing that bothers you,  yeah, love. Yes, I know, I'm always talking about that word. But I mean, we are humans, we have feelings, unfortunately, and I don't know why, if we don't find our soul mate in our lifetime we feel like shit. Most thoughts at night are "why am I so lonely" "why can't nobody love me", well, love is a really relative thing. What is it, I don't know. When does it come, nobody knows. Why does it come, no clue, but it sucks. Love is something unpredictable that comes really slow and goes really fast, and of course, sucks. So many teens depressed because there are couple everywhere and they are single. Don't you worry child, see, heaven's not got a plan for you, sorry, but you have a whole life to live, you've got plenty of time. Just enjoy the moment, cause the faster you want it the slower you'll get it. Don't look for it, it'll came along. And if it doesn't, just buy a cat.

Night time.

Well I guess it's August and I think it's time to start getting all my thoughts out again. So let's go.

So the night has come, and you know what that means, it's shit time. Why the fuck does this happen? I mean, you can be all happy and cheerful during the daytime and whenever the sun goes down it's like "shit, this sucks" you are just thinking "Omg my life sucks" and all that sort of shit. So let me tell you my friend. You are not alone. Everybody, at least once in their lifetime, they feel that way. And if they tell you they've never felt that, well they are fucking lying. 

Every once in a while people have this shitty moment when they think of their life, their achievements, their experiences and the choices they've made in their life and just say "Goodness, I'm a piece of shit" and so you start regreting about things you made in the past,  things you never got to do, and things you will never be able to do because of the things you have done, and so all mixes together and makes this huge cloud of thoughts that makes you get depressed and sad, and that ends up making an enormous hole that nobody can fix. 

It's like you've lost yourself. In fact, you have. All the confidence you had is gone, and you don't know how to get it back from wherever it is now. Friends, family, ain't nobody can help you. It only depends on you. People will give you their support and try to chear you up, and it might work at first, but when you are all alone, at night, those stupid thoughts will come again to your head, and let's start all over again. So you know what I say, just fuck off, I know it's hard not to give a damn, but dude, just, for a second, listen to you, what the hell are you saying, you are just so wrong about yourself. I don't care if you've done mistakes in the past, cause now it's time to learn from them and correct them, that way you don't fall in the same hole. Cause that is what make you who you are, and you are just beautiful in that way. Don't care what people may say about you, don't listen to those voices in your head that try to let you down. No more tears at night. 

It's time to put some self-confidence on.

Aww shit.

Aw shit, when I first saw you I was like, "goddamnit look what we've got here". Shit, little bastard. Such a beautiful thing. Such a motherfucking beautiful thing. I couldn't think of other thing that wasn't you. Crazy, isn't it? I always promised myself that I would never lose my mind again and shit, look at me now, I've gone fucking crazy for something that was fake, never real. It was all a big lie, just the way life is. But man, it was just perfect, it was like, shit, am I looking at your eyes or is this some goddamn wonderful dream? I could never think it could be that crazy, I mean, what the hell, I could have given you one of my kidneys if you needed it....okay I wouldn't. It was too perfect to be real, it was never meant to be. They say that if it's meant to be, it will happen, no matter what. Shit, have they lost their minds? So who the fuck says what is meant to be or what is not? I mean, seriously, I wanna know. 

What a big lie, love, huh? I mean, 'love', what the fuck is that? Does it really exist? Cause I really think it doesn't. Some fake couples walking around like 'OMG I found the love of my life', and a week later they are dating a different person, seriously, grow up, if you wanna fool around what the hell do it, but don´t even call it love, cause that is not love, I can't even give you a good explanation of what love is, cause I have no idea, you just gotta feel it, I guess, I don't know, I get confused with all of that 'I love you, we've been 30 hours together' thingy and shit, so I guess there's different types of love. I mean, of course there's different types, but...well you know what I mean. And you may say I'm overreacting and there are people that love each other for real, and I say, Amen, yes there are.

We're just a bunch of kids that don't know what the hell they're doing, and they may say they perfectly know what they're talking about, and who knows, they may. And I say congrats. I say congrats to all those who never give up when things get hard. Cause the easiest thing to do is giving up. And probably that's the choice that doesn't bring more pain or other stupid bad feelings. But hey, give it a try, bitch. 

I mean, why do we need someone to make our lives complete? Man, fuck that shit.

Actually, do whatever the fuck you wanna do guys, we're already lost.